Okay I know, you’re thinking, “Hey Willie misspelled Home,” or maybe the sharper tacks out there are thinking, “Hey Willie is in Alaska.”  Perhaps others are wondering, like me, if misspelled is misspelled (one “s” or two?)

No I am not in Alaska, but I am in Dixmont, Maine, where the snowplowers motto is, “A little snow will give you traction.”  They don’t seem to be able to get the last few inches of snow off the road and it eventually gets packed into ice, which believe me, does not give you traction, especially when driving a rear wheel drive van.  Ahh, but I digress.  I am  not here to take shots at poor Mariah, my long suffering 96 Dodge Van who admittedly has cost more than some marriages I was in.

No this story or blog or rant is about living in Maine in the winter (which is from November to June).  Actually, it isn’t even technically winter yet, it is still fall, but there are two feet of snow on the ground and more on the way tomorrow, so it is easy to call it winter.

I am sitting here wishing I had gotten more wood stacked on the back porch and listening to the furnace burn up my children’s inheritance (hehe, well okay) and I just got an idea.  I wondered if it was any worse in Alaska.  I found a webcam online for Nome, Alaska, and checked it out.  You can to at http://www.nomealaska.org/vc/cam-page.htm.

What you will see is a snow covered place that is dark and gloomy, sort of like the view out my back door on most days.  It really doesn’t look much different.  Did I mention it was 2 degrees today with a wind chill that registered well below zero?  So whether you hail from Nome or Dixmont, or Frostbite Falls, raise a glass or two of cheer and enjoy yourself, because there really is no place like Nome, or Home, for the holidays.

Pardon me, the glass is a little more than half empty.

I’m in Pennsylvania after a rough trip through Washington and Baltimore and a few podunk towns in Virginia. Somehow I missed a turn and went around Washington twice, I am sure there is some kind of joke in that, but I am not all that happy or in a mood for humor tonight. No Will Rogers here.

Anyway I figured I could really use a six pack tonight since I am down to my last beer. The traffic is horrendous here and with all these four lane highways you have a hard time getting anywhere without several turn abouts.

So I ask the desk clerk here where I can buy beer and she looks at me with that deer in the headlights look. I think you can buy it at the deli she says. Where is the deli I ask? She doesn’t know. Can you buy beer in a convenience store I ask? She doesn’t know. I am going to go out on a limb here and opine that this lady is not a beer drinker.

So I make several illegal turns and make it to a convenience store which is sadly lacking in beer. I ask the clerk, where can I buy beer? Well he says, do you want a case or a six pack? I tell him that I think a six pack will do so he says, go to Chilis restaurant. Eh? They sell beer to go? Yes he says if you only want a six pack they will sell you one, otherwise you have to go to a beer distributor the other side of town and buy a whole case.

So I head for Chilis but see a wine and spirits store that is only one illegal u turn away so I go there. No stinking beer! I ask the clerk, where can I buy beer? He tells me this story about a great little restaurant just six lights two blocks and several illegal turns away where they will slip me a six pack in the back of the parking lot. Whatever you do, he warns me, don’t go to Chilis because they will rake you over the coals. Hmmm, trial by fire for a freakin six pack?

As I leave the wine and spirits store I notice a Longhorn Steakhouse that says, it is also a saloon. Ok, I think, if they are a saloon they will prolly sell me a six pack like Chilis would so I will just go there and have a salad, since I am hungry, and take a six pack to go. Well aside from the very loud obnoxious country music blasting throughout the place the salad and two Coronas I had were great, but when I go to leave and I try to buy a six pack, the waitress tells me, you have to go to Chilis for that. This is King of Prussia, a big built up town just outside Philadelphia and Chilis is the only place you can buy a six pack? Pennsylvania was founded by the Dutch and Germans who both live on beer. It is home to Yuengling brewery, the oldest brewery in America and yet you have to go to a Chilis restaurant and pay an exhorbitant amount to get a stinking six pack.

I had one Yuengling Light left from Florida where I had bought it in a grocery store and I am drinking that tonight. sheesh It has been a rough day and I will be glad to say goodbye to Pennsylvania tomorrow. I will be driving through New York where I think it is safe to say I will be able to buy a six pack without going to Chilis, but just in case, does anybody know if they also play extremely loud and obnoxious music? What happened to a little soft music in the background for atmosphere and why are there television screens hanging from the ceiling and every post or counter top? What ever happened to sitting down in a quiet place and eating a meal and enjoying some light music, perhaps a little Albinoni, and some good conversation? There were couples in there, but how could they ever talk to each other in that din?

Well anyway, that is why I will never live in Pennsylvania,. Their motto is, “You have a friend in Pennsylvania”, but my advice is don’t meet him or her at any of the popular chain restaurants because you won’t be able to have a conversation unless you are both proficient at signing. I will eventually be in Maine and then perhaps back in Florida, both states where beer is readily available and miles away from Washington D.C..

It was all go at the Hinsdale Greyhound Park yesterday.  The guys on the roof working on the satellite dishes kind of screwed things up because I couldn’t see the Seabrook races until the 9th race, but it didn’t keep me from hitting some nice quinellas and winners and tris.  The puppy stakes are starting at Seabrook and yesterday was the first day.  The thing about handicapping maidens that a lot of people don’t understand is that in some ways maidens are easier to handicap whether in horse or dog racing.You’ll hear people complain that maidens are tough to handicap because they haven’t won yet, but the thing about maidens is, what you see is what you get.

At the major horse tracks favorites win a high percentage of the maiden races.  One of the reasons is because maidens develop at different rates so the precocious maidens stand out and though they may go off at low odds, they run pretty true to form.  That was the case yesterday and it afforded some beautiful betting opportunities.  In each race there were a few dogs who had already won in m and j and had been running against seasoned dogs in c and even b grade races.  Using those dogs in exotics with other promising maidens made some nice payoffs.  The weather even cooperated by giving us a sunny day for a change.

There were very few people at Hinsdale and it makes you wonder how long they will be able to stay open.  Today they have live racing again and that is a plus.  Another plus is the dime supers.  I love these bets because for just $2.40 a race I can box 4 dogs.  I’ve hit several supers each day I have played them.  Some were alls but on Monday I hit the 13th and 14th race supers with all of my four dogs.

Today I am playing Hinsdale, Wheeling, Lincoln, and Derby Lane.  It is a lot of handicapping, but then again, its what I do.  The heavy rains might cause a track bias.  I’ve hit some nice payoffs at Lincoln playing heavy dogs on a real sloppy track, but it has to be real bad before weight becomes a factor. At Raynham I’ve hit some nice exotics including supers playing a 1238 box.  today might offer such an opportunity.

Tomorrow it is back to Maine and taking care of business there before hitting the road next week.  

Got into Hinsdale New Hamspshire yesterday and headed over to Hinsdale Greyhound Park.  I have to admit that Hinsdale has always held a special place in my heart because I have many happy memories of going there when my son was young and my sister would go along and we’d sit outside and watch the dog races.  Hinsdale is a nice track, a friendly place where families can spend an afternoon watching dogs run with the backdrop of a wooded New Hampshire hillside.

I always got the feeling that Hinsdale didn’t take itself too seriously and just wanted to provide you with a good time.  They have struggled to compete with the big fancy tracks that are more conveniently located for the population of Connecticutt and Massachusetts, but with so many tracks that they simulcast they have hung in there.  But rest assured, crowding is not a problem and you’ll always find a good seat.

Admittedly, the quality of their dog racing isn’t top grade but it is still fun to watch and the dogs still put on a good show and you can bet on them, so what’s not to like?  A lot of puppies get a good start at Hinsdale and some older dogs that are finishing out their racing careers get a chance to compete on a level they can handle and still have fun, because contrary to what some people would have you believe,  greyhounds do have fun racing.  It is what they do and there is no one whippng them, they run as fast as they want to because they want to run.  I love sitting outside at Hinsdale and watching the live races.  They also have good eats there that are reasonably priced and the club house offers a nice air conditioned break with big windows and big screens so you don’t miss any of the action.

Now they have blackjack and a poker room.  As you know old Willie doesn’t play poker so I won’t comment on it other than to say its there and people were playing at a few tables when i went there.  It wasn’t crowded on a thursday afternoon.  But there wasn’t a single blackjack table open.  I asked about the rules and I think I found one reason why no one was playing.  First the good news, blackjack pays 2-1.  But you can only double down on a 10 or 11 and the house wins all pushes except a blackjack!  Not good.  I hope they will change that, but until they do I won’t be sitting at a blackjack table there.  I realize the house is going to have the advantage but that is just too much of an edge for me to go up against.  You can split any pair but there is no surrender and no insurance.

In their defense this is new for Hinsdale Greyhound Park so maybe they figured they would give themselves a big edge to be cautious, but they need to loosen up a little, in my opinion.  If a player just wants to sit down and try to get lucky by all means hit the blackjack tables, but with those rules, you’re in for some tough sledding.  I hope they will change those rules soon.  Vegas strip rules would be a good start.  I’d also like to see a blackjack tournament.  That would be a good way to get people involved more in blackjack.  Many people are familiar with poker tournaments now and a few blackjack tournaments would introduce the game to some new players as well as giving a real chance to win to some regular blackjack players.

So how did I do playing the dogs yesterday?  I got there late after driving for hours including a stop at the Manchester airport.  I played two races at Palm Beach, the 12th an A race and the last race, a C race.  I hit the quinella in the A race for 35$ and the winner in the last race for  $8.40.  I’m heading back today for the live racing even though it is raining.  Maybe I’ll be able to figure out a track bias.  I know I’ll have fun and they are simulcasting Palm Beach and Lincoln so I’ll play the top grade races at those tracks and some of the Hinsdale live races and have a good meal.

One of the special things about today will be that my 8 yr old neice will be seeing greyhouds race for the first time.  I know she will like it and like I said, its a family friendly place so we’ll have a good time.

While driving down to Florida I passed through several states that are renumbering their exits.  Maine is doing the same thing.  For years exits were just numbered sequentially.  If you looked at a map and saw that the exit that would take you where you wanted to go was exit 10 and you had just passed exit 9 you knew the next exit was where you should get off the highway.  That seems like a pretty straightforward system to me and as far as I can tell it worked pretty well, too.

But now the states are changing that system and numbering exits according to how many miles up or down the highway they are located.  In Maine the exit that is 167 miles from the New Hampshire border is numbered 167.  That is mighty handy if you want to know where New Hampshire is, but what makes New Hampshire so important that even when I am deep within the beautiful state of Maine I need to know that New Hampshire is just 167 miles away?  Does the highway department in Maine think people are going to suffer from separation anxiety if they don’t know how far New Hampshire is?  What about Canada?  That is a whole country.  Why don’t we number the exits in Maine from Canada?  I hope the Canadians haven’t been offended by this.

I owned some perfectly good atlases that now have the wrong exit numbers on them.  Oh sure the states put a sign under the new exit number that tells the old exit number, but what’s the point?  And how long will it be before they decide to renumber the routes?  Most states are going with the following format… Exit 37 and then below it a yellow sign that reads, Formerly Exit 10.  “Formerly?”  Sounds like the Exit had another life before it became an exit.

Remember the performer known as Prince?  He decided to change his name and for years he was refered to as “the performer formerly known as Prince”.  I don’t know what he changed his name to but he was known by his former name so something tells me his new name and his new career path weren’t big hits, but at least he had his success as the performer formerly known as to fall back on.

I think it would be nice if we named exits and quit numbering them.  Numbers are so cold and impersonal but names are warm and friendly.  If people are concerned that there will be no order to them then perhaps we could start with an “A” name and work our way through the alphabet just like they do with tropical storms.  Why do they name tropical storms if they are only going to turn around and count and number them, for instance, the weather person comes on TV and tells us that hurricane Cathy will be our 3rd Hurricane of the season.  Why not just number storms?  Why not say that this third storm will be the third storm or better yet just say well this is the third storm of the season? But let’s get back to exits, anyway, the first exit could be “Adam” or “Annie”.  It wouldn’t tell you how far away you were from New Hampshire or some other state, but it would certainly sound nicer than Exit 3, formerly Exit 1.

If for some reason the exit’s name didn’t work out we could always rename it.  Exit Helen, formerly known as the Exit Harold (uh-oh don’t even go there).  I don’t care how far New Hampshire or Canada is from where I am.  I don’t dislike them, hell I’ve even dated people from those places, but while I’m in Maine I’d like to concentrate on where I am, you know, stay focused.  Just imagine what would happen if we started naming exits, famous people would want to have exits named after them.  Yes, names definitely sound nicer and friendlier than numbers, but for some reason people feel safer numbering things like exits.

On the other hand, people like to name things that they then turn around and start counting or numbering.  For instance, I’ve been married four times, but for some reason, number two, number three, and number four didn’t like being refered to by their number.  It is the same with children.  People have four kids and name them all but then say things like, “He is my second son.”  Well why didn’t you call him “Number Two”?

When I moved to Maine my address was a rural route number and box number.  Route 3 Box 1133.  But then they put in the 911 service and renumbered and named everything. Now I realize that 911 is an emergency service and they want to make it as easy as possible for the emergency people to find you.  So wouldn’t you think numbers would be the most logical thing to use?  But no, they changed my route number to the name of a street!  Why? Because street  names tell you more than numbers do.  Places should have names and so should exits.  Save the numbers for counting money or children or wives but name places.

I think it’s nice that we live in a country where even Exits can get a fresh start.  America is all about starting something new or starting over again.  As they say, hope springs eternal in the heart of man.  We even get to change our Presidents after four years and choose a new corporate stooge to criticize for the next four years.  I think it would be nice though if we could also refer to the President the way we refer to our exits.  For instance, if we elect a new man or woman and they don’t seem to be working out and are screwing up the country we could always start refering to the president as “The President of the United States, formerly known as the Politician (insert name here).”  It might take a little heat off the new person and remind us that we will get to correct our mistake.  Maybe we could make them wear a yellow sign around their necks that say “formerly known as…” 

Better yet, maybe we should just number Presidents and Hurricanes.   If that doesn’t work out we can always refer to them as “formerly”.  You know, Hurricane 3 formerly known as the Tropical Storm 2 or President 41 formerly known as the 27th Governor of Texas. Thomas Wolfe was wrong, “you can go back.”  Just ask Prince.